REMEMBER ME

Often times I think of the things I want to do that'll not only be good for me, but for my family, friends, and maybe even my future children.  I do want to one day give something that I can be remembered for. It may not be the cure for cancer, or the solution to end world hunger.. but I do want what ever I do to matter the most to people even the ones I dont know. I think my soul could be at ease when I'm laid to rest in my final days. I usually dont like to think that far ahead, and im comfortable with taking baby steps, but ideas and goals are fine to think about right?

I was told by my own family you cant get "cookies" or "trophies" for things youre supposed to do. I finally reached a point in my life where this is true. I'm doing everything I'm S U P P O S E D to do. Now i'm ready to think about the things I dont really have to do, but I want to because these things will matter to people when i'm not around. It'll bring joy to me knowing that i've made someone happy, or anything else significant in their lives. I hope with the career path that I take I can be able to help others launch their careers in maybe music or arts. My connections with people can open doors for other people. Maybe I can start an organization for children who come from low-income homes who feel like they shouldnt go to college because their parents cant afford it. I would love to show kids you dont have to minimize your education options the way I did. I would also love to reach out to girls who come from the same area I come from and show them its way more to life than the limited options that are put in front of them. Some of these girls decide that it would be easier to become a mom at seventeen, than a high school or college graduate. It saddens me that I didnt see much of a huge vocal female influence in my own schools so this is what the girls around my age would believe in. I'd love to be the person that helps these girls explore their life options.
I want to be remembered as the person anyone can use as an example and go beyond the successful

limits of me. I want to remembered as the person that always has love for everyone. The person anyone can come to and be inspired by. I dont have many people like that in my life so i'd love to be that person in someone elses life. I want my own career platform to be able to give back to those who arent there yet. It would be so beautiful to be at a wise age, and know that people take so much from me and use it constructively. The only trophy I hope to gain in life after my work would be to know I helped people as much as I could and I am loved for that.





Remember me. Dismember me.
Take all that I have left behind, run and flee.
After i'm gone, all that I have left is free.
Ill be content to know everyone is filled with glee.
Knowing this ill finally be able to breathe.
Girls my age will finally look up to me.
Take the needy and unfortunate on shopping sprees.
Thats all that'll ever make me happy.
Dont be sad please.
Remember how sweet my love was spread like
spring time honey bee's.
My time on this earth has taught me who to please,
only because these people matter the most to me.
This is my plea. This will keep me happy.
Remember me. Dismember me.
Take all that I have left behind, run and flee.
After i'm gone, all that I have left is free.

9 to 5's WILL NEVER BE PERMANENT.

   I'm so grateful I've been able to work and make money over the past nine months. My first semester
of college in November I got hired into my first retail job working at the gap. It was the most horrible experience ever, but I had never really had a retail before then so I didnt know what to expect. I was being paid 8.75 hourly, and being paid once a week. Sounds awesome right? The training was long and they expect you to remember so much in so little time. The customers were snobby, rude and needy. I worked long hours and still never say more than two hundred dollars in a weeks worth of a check. Didnt have enough to get back and forth to school or pay my phone bill. I struggled for a while. Struggling really hurt my soul. I remember getting up at 4:30 a.m, just to be there on black friday. Oddly there was a fire on the train tracks and I decided to go all the way back home. After that they started giving me less hours, after the holidays they eventually gave me none. No warning. Nothing. Just like that I was let go. With this experience I had learned the importance of saving money, not thinking ALL jobs are good jobs, and learning when to say no.

   Realistically, i'm glad I went through my experience working at the Gap. It not only quickly opened new doors for employment oppurtunities, I also took some retail skills along with me. Like cashier, cleaning, customer service etc. Right now I am blessed have a better job than all of my last and it only took less than a year. Knowing what my end results are for is what makes it allllllllllllllll better. I mean the money does too, but knowing that my resume just looks better and better with experience is so exicting to me.
   Even on my worst days I just tell myself to "thug this sh*t out." In other words: YOU CAN DO IT. I have people cheering for me at my finish line. Bills have to paid, and the money has to be made. My mom counts on me as much as I count her now. I'm getting so much life experience by just having a job. You strugle from time to time, I cant say I love it, but I do love everything that I get from it. I'm glad im in good spaces with people and from what they've told me I know everytime I get a job/have a job im doing the right thing. Whenever i'm at work day dreaming of a better life for me, I snap back to reality and realize these are the steps I have to take temporarily until I get where i'm going and im 100% fine with that.