Breath. Stretch. Shake. Let it go.

Can it actually be possible to not stress? Because I cant. I get a little nervous, and worried but never stressed. I tend to overthink things but I always try to think positively or "go with the flow." But for past two weeks so many things have continuously crossed my mind, with school, my job, and my own life. (Deep breaths help me with all of this.)

First with school... everything is so bland. I really like school because I just like retaining information and being in an educational enviornment feels good. But the every other day schedule 10:00am to 3:30pm classes is already starting to feel old. I want to join in on some of the groups/clubs but none of them really seem all that interesting to me. I also cant stop thinking about whether I would have time, or would I quit because I can often procrastinate things and get lazy? But I also just enjoy having time to myself. I'm thinking about setting a goal of books I want to read before this semester is over.

Second, my job. I recently started working at this shoe store on Newbury Street, and I enjoy it. I've been there a little over a month but I already want to move on to something else. I want to be more involved in my job, I want to love every day that im there, and I also want to get out of retail. Running up and down stairs for six hours straight with a 15 minute break that sometimes your manager forgets about isnt all that great. I've been covering shifts a lot and its getting a little annoying. But my check might be nice. Money isnt the issue, but it doesnt pay much for all the work I actually do. $8.25 an hour is not a living wage or nough to put up with the people who shop at my store. People come in and they are rude, fussy, they think youre lying when you say you dont have a size in the shoe they want, or they rush you. I'm ready to move on. I've been looking but im trying to stay long enough to see if it'll actually be worth it.

Lastly... i'm ready to move on with my life. I'm ready to be done with school. Im ready to have my own apartment and be by myself. I dont want to depend on living check to check or waking up Sunday morning dreading for my boring bland life schedule of work and school. I dont feel like im living the way I want to. I want to enjoy every moment of every day that I wake up, get dressed, and step outside. But im not. It saddens me. But I know everything i'm doing will pay off later in my life. Hopefull.

WHEN I STOP I NOTICE...

When I stop I notice...

I notice my enviornment is changing around me.

The trees are changing, the air is getting crisp.

When I stop I notice, everyone is drifting away.

Summer is long gone and my friends arent here to stay.

We've got to hustle as much as we can before snow traps us in.

In just a few months now we'll be back in the sand.

When I stop I notice, the flowers dont look so well.

What use to be bright, is now dead and dull.

The workers will pull those up next week I bet.

 Everything is transitioning.

When I stop I notice,  things are starting to feel

as dead and dull as those flowers.

When I stop I notice age will never treat us as well.

When I stop, I notice businesses are gone.

Everything is starting to look eery and ghostly if you ask me.

When I stop I notice that im not paying enough attention.

  I need to make better jaywalking decisions.

When I stop I notice winter is really coming.

I noticed that i'm really not ready for it.